He was a software engineer or did something in tech (as they all did). I don’t think he asked me a single question about myself.Our date—if you call these impromptu Internet meetings, dates—lasted an hour.They were not straight, white guys from flyover country or California imported by a software company.They spent their time doing things other than making Jeff Bezos more money. He was trim, tall, bearded (as they all seem to be), a recent transplant, having only lived in Seattle for a year or so and worked at a start-up, after burning out at Amazon (as they all seem to have).He rode his bike around town; he had good taste in food and wine; and he lived across the street from where we were meeting.
The majority of the guys who are moving here for companies like Amazon seem to be their late 20s or early 30s, and they are new and exploring the city.“The only thing that has changed is the increase in men I’d never want to go out on a date with.” She added, “Can’t believe they actually strap on those new employee book bags.” For Reifman, the number of men versus women presents a challenge for guys like him—he can’t seem to get a date or hold the attention of the women he’s courting because, presumably, he’s got so much competition. My brain is very abstract, though, the exact opposite of so many men in tech who have very concrete/literal brains. I constantly felt like I wasn’t seen or valued by them, even though I experienced a lot of them as having a very limited view of the world.” Carla Swiryn, a matchmatcher for Three Day Rule, a start-up that offers curated online dating services in cities like San Francisco, Los Angeles, New York, and Chicago, said that her female clients are often hit with a double whammy: “I often hear women say they either date A-holes or nerds—or if they’re really lucky, both in one,” she said.But the reality is that all he has to do is have a personality. The exact same scenario has been playing out in San Francisco for the last few years. The biggest thing, the thing that bothered me the most is I felt like my intelligence was greatly devalued,” she wrote. “They feel like they’re dealing with someone who has poor social skills, not a lot of style, and isn’t that attractive, or is decently good-looking, successful, or cool, but by default knows it and acts like it, with a huge ego and selfish mind-set in tow.” One woman, Bridget Arlene, spent three years in Seattle for graduate school, and said that she actually moved out of the city, in part because of the type of available men—most of whom had computer science or engineering degrees and worked for Google, Microsoft, or Amazon.It felt more like a job interview, but not the way a date is supposed to be a job interview.There was no grilling about where you were from and what your family was like and what you were looking for.