Dutch dating rules
When going on a first date with a Dutchman, the Shallow Man’s first piece of advice is to not react in shock, disgust or reach for the sunglasses if, as is highly probable, he turns up wearing a pair of bright red jeans.
This is considered by many Dutch men to be the height of chic and elegance.
Visit any V&D or major store on a Saturday and you’ll witness the once proud Dutch lion being bossed around by his poorly dressed partner.
Once you have a Dutchman he will expect you to bark orders at him like a circus trainer shouting at his animals.
A well-dressed woman with styled hair and makeup might be after the thing he values most, his money.
To stand a chance with a Dutchman, my advice is to take a flight to London.
Expat women have also been known to visit hairdressers more than twice a year and they are also not strangers to wearing makeup.
The lovely Jasmina Suljanovic, Olga Khristianovskayam (as Lady Gaga said to her backing dancer, that’s a mouthful) and Niamh Ni Bhroin have reached out to their Uncle Shallow Man for advice on how to capture that most exclusive, reclusive and elusive of prey, the Dutch male.Don’t hum the tune to the Lion sleeps tonight while running your hands through his hair.Dutchmen and Brown Shoes go together like Drones and dead civilians, Amsterdam and high apartment rental costs and Miley Cyrus and bad taste.Calling Mr Goodman.” She tried this several times and then in exasperation she said to me “wow, a Goodman really is hard to find.”This brings me to the topic of today’s post.Think of Ahab’s quest for Moby Dick, John Ford chasing the elephant, Wile E Coyote’s hopeless pursuit of the Road Runner or Tom’s obsessive and hazardous campaign to capture Jerry.