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Beforehand, he might look at his position and say, 'I'm not sure I want to commit to a relationship if I don't have my own life together.' If that's the case, use the power you have and back away from the table.

If you make an ultimatum, make good on it for yourself.

How can you ensure that a first date, good or bad, is a learning experience rather than a missed opportunity?

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It does hurt — but sometimes it has to hurt a little so you can gain a lot." —Jordan Carlos Twitter account for updates, or email [email protected] "Cocktails With Cosmo" in the subject line, and we'll reach out to you about the next event (most likely held in the NYC area).

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