Dating online yooo
Unfortunately, says Ivankovich, the current generation, brought up on enticing, surface-level forms of mass communication, has a tendency to look for happiness in what serves them most right now. If you decide to go out, you know that you will get some good food, most likely run into some friends, and “have an all-around good time.” Now, erase that mental picture and picture yourself on restaurant row in Manhattan, with an overwhelming number of options.
With millions of options at our disposal — from hobbies to jobs to suitors — we’ve all been taught to toss anything that isn’t an insta-perfect fit. And yet we constantly forget — and then remember, and then forget — this very basic concept, rolling through an on/off cycle that’s dizzying at best. “Millennials discard, rapidly, anything that doesn’t work for them,” Ivankovich says. “It is much more challenging to pick a place and definitively know that you are getting the best food,” says Cohen.
“Each person is devoting himself or herself to the relationship and the other person for the sheer joy of it…
In my opinion, getting something back is just the icing on the cake,” she says.
For instance, maybe sometimes he’s not as verbally complimentary as you’d like, and maybe sometimes he does forget to pick up your freaking almond milk on his way over (gah) — but if your current boyfriend is always kind-hearted, super-supportive of your unconventional career path and you can both laugh together until your gut hurts, then what is most important, y’all? Figure out what you You may have to take a hard look at your laundry list of “wants” and find out which of those you actually “need” instead of cutting off someone who isn’t up to snuff on paper. Thankfully, there should be clues of promise all along the path to commitment. Cohen says that relationship gems are investing; they are spending time, and likely money, getting to know you and showing you that the relationship is important.
“In the case of yo-yo dating, people are just flip flopping between alternatives to reduce the tension experienced as a result of doubting their mate choice.” If you let the tension turn into fear, though, it’s bad news — and the never-ending cycle of on/off, up/down is seriously messing with us, guys.
“We are simply reinforcing or conditioning behaviors that are not conducive to sustainability of relationships by encouraging millennials to try on every shoe to see if it fits,” Ivankovich says. Cohen says the options are just what she tells her psychology students.
“Millennials only know a life of fast-paced, action-packed days structured with engaging people,” Ivankovich says.
“Couple that with mass media, especially social media telling them that they ‘deserve’ better, they know they have options that were not afforded to previous generations.