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If you secretly wanted to be spanked, for instance, but were worried your partner wouldn’t be receptive to the idea, it was easy to find someone who would be in one of the hundreds of BDSM-themed chatrooms.
The fact that you had no idea what the person you were typing with even looked like in some ways heightened the thrill.
(For the next few years, I thought “cum” was a synonym for “penis,” in large part due to Frank Zappy’s sloppy syntax.) I don’t remember being sexually aroused by my relationship with Frank Zappy, so much as I was just fascinated by anything vaguely related to sex at the time.
I probably got a similar thrill from watching my Sims family make woo-hoo.
He wasn’t particularly imaginative, or even literate.
Most teens of the early AOL chatroom era, or the mid-to-late-1990s, experimented with cybersex or had their sexual initiations online, in chatrooms with names like “Bored housewives over 30” or “Naughty wellhung surfer boys 18 .” In 1996, AOL had 5 million subscribers; by 2002, it had 25 million and was the biggest dial-up service in the country.
Chat had never been more expedient or accessible, so it was only a matter of time before people started using it for sex.
Rob Weiss, an expert on porn and cybersex addiction, attributes the cybersex boom of the mid-’90s to what he referred to as the three A’s: “accessibility, affordability, and anonymity.” First and foremost, cybersex allowed people to get off without the effort required to obtain pornographic material or find a new partner IRL (in real life), especially if you were taken to begin with.
“It was incredibly powerful for people to be able to go into chat and talk about sex and be sexual without risking their marriages, or their relationships,” noted Weiss, who estimates this practice started exploding around 1996, when AOL was first gaining steam.