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I started running away from the sound that I made, tried to make it smaller, tried to make it sound similar to what other pop singers sound like, thinking that maybe that would remedy the rejection that I had gotten.But in reality, it just made it worse, because it wasn’t natural and it wasn’t me, and I think it really showed.The thing is, I didn’t really get to sing very many songs that had pace or tempo. I know it was kind of strange, but it also hopefully means that when you think of me, that’s there in the deck of cards.So it was an opportunity for me to not sing a ballad, but yet sing something that wasn’t too far off in terms of the elements that I am drawn to in songs. It’s not just “ballad, ballad, ballad.” TVLINE | That’s a good point, letting people know that in your post-] TVLINE | In the semifinals, you were up against Lindsey. oranges.” Because the two of you were really doing two very, very different things, was it strange to go into that round knowing it was an either-or proposition, that only one member of Team Xtina could advance to the finale? Christina, she knew I wanted to do “You Raise Me Up” all season, but she encouraged me to sit on it — just in case I made it through.That’s why “The Power of Love” was fantastic, and my final audition [“Because We Believe (Ama Credi E Vai)”] was great, and “Bridge Over Troubled Water,” wonderful.At the same time, I fought a little insecurity [going up against] people like Lindsey Pavao, who were so edgy and so cool and singing songs that were currently in the Top 5, or even No. I began thinking, “I’ve got to do something cooler.And very quickly, I was like, “This is not going to be a shoo-in, and I have to kill it, or else I’m not going to be able to advance.” Then I got sick.
So to have the combination of sickness, self-doubt, and this head-to-head battle round, it was really terrible.I had a record deal on Sony a couple years ago, and I was trying to do this classical crossover genre.I got dropped [from the label] right before my record came out, and that really prompted a knee-jerk reaction, feeling like my voice, my music was not good enough.Well, first of all, my goal going into the live rounds was to have fun, because I realized that I wasn’t having fun in the first two rounds.I was so nervous and caught up in the pressure that I was — and I think it showed on camera — a ball of knots. Second, yeah, it was very important to me to sing songs that allowed me to really use my voice.